G to the izzay, O to the izzo, D to the... yeah. God here. Well, Jesus gives me a lot of trouble up here in Heaven, he keeps saying that I wasn't there for him when he was a child. Now that he's done being a savior to mankind and realized that he really is my son, and its not just a bout of schizophrenia, he feels betrayed. I mean, excuse me? Didn't I save your sorry ass from those crazy Jews and Romans? I mean, I brought you back from the freaking dead! Don't I get any credit for that? Jesus.
The Angels tell me I shouldn't yell at my son, so I tell them to shut the fuck up because prostitutes don't know anything about raising a child, those bloody bitches. Anyway, the point is that children are just ungrateful to their parents. I mean, the one thing I said to Adam and Eve, don't eat the fruit, I have a whole world of other things you can eat, but the forbidden fruit is forbidden, so don't eat it. And what's the first thing they do? THEY EAT THE DAMN FRUIT. I mean, what the fuck right? And then they blame me for banishing them from Eden. Idiot children.
So for all you struggling Moms and Dads out there, if it was so hard for me, how could it ever be a cakewalk for you guys?
See ya.
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